Just like how parents worry if they are doing a good job parenting their children, grandparents sometimes worry if they too are doing a good job as grandparents. There is a kind of classification of grand parenting which describes how grandparents relate to their grandchildren. Using the classifications, you can plainly see what's associated with each style and try to balance each factor in order to be the best grandparent you can be. The five types of grandparents are described below.
Formal - Formal grandparents think of themselves as parents rather than grandparents and they play their role from a distant. In other words, they only accept their role as grandparent because their own kids have kids of their own. Ultimately, the grandchildren see them as distant icons and they receive their information about them from the stories their parents tell them.
Playmate - Grandparents which are categorized as playmates tend to spoil their grandchildren. They aren't really concerned about how the grandchildren are turning out and may sometimes encourage them to do naughty things. Grandchildren typically find them to be more fun than their parents.
Ghost - The ghost grandparent is even less involved in the lives of their grandchildren than the formal grandparent. They hardly see their grandchildren whether because of personal choice, distance or due to the choice of the parents themselves. Either way, the grandchildren see them as a shadowy figure who make an appearance once in a while.
Surrogate - Surrogates treat their grandchildren like they would their own children. They try to intervene with their own form of discipline and help to raise them correctly; sometimes by offering advice to the parents and sometimes by rewarding and punishing behavior.
Sage - The sage grandparent is sometimes mistaken for a ghost grandparent. However, they aren't as invisible as they interact with their grandchildren when invited. They however, hardly initiate interaction but when they are approached by the grandchildren, they take the time to offer advice and consultation.
No matter the role you decide to take as a grandparent, you should always establish ground rules with your children so you don't overstep your bounds and you can have a successful relationship with your grandchildren. Be unambiguous about the role you want to have in your grandchildren's lives and check with the parents before you buy presents. In essence, you should respect the parenting decisions of your children.
Also, no matter the category you fall in, there is no excuse of not being there for your grandchildren when they need you. In fact, even if you live far apart, you can still keep in touch with the internet, phone or with good old fashioned mail. Taking the time to communicate with your grandchildren will create a foundation for a strong long term relationship. Children will react positively to attention and signs of love and care allowing you the opportunity to get to know them better when you don't have the opportunity to see them regularly.
Whatever the particular situation, when you show love, concern for the child's safety and well being, be consistent with your behavior and pay attention to their needs and words, you are being a good grandparent.
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